Saturday, February 18, 2012

Valentines Day

As a little girl growing up you always dream about your wedding. Then it happens and is everything you imagined. Then you start dreaming about all of your first holidays as a married couple, basically just all of your firsts as a married couple. Note to everyone it is very difficult to be with all family members on every holiday, so don't stress yourself because they will be happy just to see you.

After my m/c (miscarriage) I dreamt of surprising Greg on his birthday, or giving him the best Christmas gift ever, a positive pregnancy test. I dreamt about how I would tell him, because the first time I just called him out of the bathroom to me standing in our bedroom holding the pregnancy test in his face. I thought of creating a lottery ticket where he scratches it off to reveal he is going to be a daddy. Or have cookies baking when he comes home, spelling out BABY. And when the oven goes off I'd ask him to grab the pan so he would see my surprise. I don't know, I just love surprising others.

I was on Cabergoline, a medication to help with my elevated prolactin levels, which can hinder getting pregnant. I started this medication in December and my doctor said I could start trying to get pregnant right away but I needed to stop taking this medication as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test. So I was taking a test before I took my medication, which was twice a week. Now for someone who has miscarried and was desperately trying to conceive again this was gut wrenching to continually be looking for that second blue line and it not be there.

Before Valentine's day I told Greg that whatever he gave me I wanted it to be meaningful, planned and unique. I was happy with the flowers he sent me to my work. Then he came home that day from work and told me to take a test a day early. I had been having more nausea than usual. I thought nothing of it because the side effects of the medication were the same as symptoms of pregnancy. Greg thought differently than me. So I obliged and went into the bathroom. Within seconds that second blue line was faintly there! I was so surprised that I just walked out of the bathroom holding up the positive pregnancy test to show Greg. There went my cute ideas of telling him he was a dad. But I got the best, most meaningful, well planned gift from him for Valentines that I could ever ask for!

So there it is, I am pregnant again! Now we play the waiting game. Wait to see the doctor to confirm my pregnancy, wait to get an official due date, wait to make sure that we make it through the first trimester.

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